Warning: This post is a little more curse word friendly
than usual. Though I don’t care how that makes me look or sound. I don’t want
to offend anyone without getting to know them first. So, if your delicate ears
will catch on fire you may want to skip this.
Let me start off by saying I am a mess. Mentally,
emotionally, physically, financially, and any other part of life that can be
had is usually a catastrophe and in shambles for me. I am often surprised by my
survival, health and general well-being at the ripe old age of mid 30
something. Anything that I do well or have my shit together on was likely
inspired (demanded) by my wife. I resist
her requests (orders) with every fiber of my being. But, when I give in, I am usually better for
it.
This one is for all of us idiot guys who don’t get how lucky
we are. Writing this out has already helped me appreciate what I have.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
I have been guilty of being an inactive husband and father
at times. That needs to stop. I need to view love as an action verb, not simply
a noun. I need to initiate love by taking action that shows Wonder Wife how
much she is loved and appreciated on a regular basis. So, I am setting a new
goal to focus on the things she does or says and how they have made me the man
I have always wanted to be.
The list is long and extensive. But, nearly every good thing
I have in life at this moment is a byproduct of my falling in love with the
most Wonderful Wife for me. Now it is time for me to show her by acting on the
love I have.
HOW do I love she? Let me count the ways…..but stop around
10.
Lighten the Load
Wonder Wife has been bugging me to sort out a list of chores
and duties around the house so we know who does what and don’t have to argue
about it. I have been putting it off because looking at the list gives me
anxiety. Responsibility is like a crushing weight on my soul. I always start
thinking of ways I could mess up and make everything worse. It freezes me in my
tracks. No more. I am taking on the list knowing that the more I take on the
more of my time gets to be spent with her.
Date Night
This is hard with a one year old Robin in the house.
Babysitters are not a dime a dozen and they require notice and money. This on
top of the expense of an actual date makes date night a full on special ops
mission. But, I need to spend time with my wife away from children.
Pay Attention….. Hey YOU!!!! Over here!
Ever get a little spot of pee on the floor? I know…It was
late. I was sleepy. My wife hates it. Clean it up. Don’t ask for recognition.
One of these days she will notice that she hasn’t had to wipe pee off the floor
in weeks and she will smile. In my case it may be after we are done potty
Training. But, here’s hoping.
Also listen when she says things she wants. This is a rare
opportunity that I kick yourself for missing when I ask her what she would like
for her birthday and she says “We don’t have the money for presents for me.
Don’t get me anything.” She is NOT being truthful.
Back Her Play
I am really bad at this sometimes. Keep disagreements away
from the kids. Be honest and communicative, and support her decisions (yes,
even that one!) This also involves how others perceive our relationship. I need
to stop making jokes at her expense. Never point out flaws. Everyone else needs
to know why I put her on a pedestal.
Be Present
I love my gadgets, and they love me. Don’t they? They don’t?
Well Shit. Maybe I should spend more time with my toys put away and my wife in
my arms talking about our day. I think she might like that. I know I would.
Be the Fucking Man!
This will be the most misogynistic part of this post. I
promise. But, she has said to me many times
“But, you are the guy. Not me”. This means that I need to embrace some
gender roles I have normally shunned.
So, fix the sink today. Mow the lawn. Trim the hedges. Climb
up on the roof and hang that ghost decoration from the gutter. Risk life and
limb to be manly and do shit that men do. (Insert Tim Allen grunt)
Unfortunately this doesn’t extend to other manly tasks like poop jokes and
burping contests. Weird right?
Be Patient
This one is hard. I am always in a hurry. I am always
figuring out something to do or doing something. I need shit done when I want
it done. She doesn’t. But, guess what? She wants shit done when she wants it
done too…..I don’t always do it. Did you know my wife, despite her
Wonderfulness, is in fact human and is deserving of the patience I so often
wear thin on her?
Take Care of Yourself
This one is my favorite. Cause I am a human being and
therefore selfish. I cannot show my wife I love her for the next 50 years if I
only live for another 20. This does not mean playing video games and “treating”
myself. I need to be Healthy and functioning for US.
Be a Leader
I need to take the initiative more often. I rely entirely
too much on her to define the standards of our relationship. I now see how
exhausting that is. I don’t mean I should turn into Hitler. I mean I should
lead as a servant can. Be the example of how I would like to be treated. It is
a very spiritual leadership.
Don’t Pick Up the Rope
We all have arguments. We need to stop engaging in them to
the extent we damage relationships. I am SUPER BAD at this. I troll people on
Facebook and I start fights based on principles I have that I feel are
important. I have lost some relationships in the past that were way more
important than the fights I lost them over. Every relationship has these fights
and speed bumps. If I find myself in a lull in the fight and I think of another
reason my way is right…..I start right back in.
I pick up that fucking rope we have been tugging at and PULL. This isn’t
necessary.
SO these are 10 things I am gonna try to make my relationship
better. Hopefully by this time next year I will be telling you my top 10 sex
tips cause of all the awesome sex I will be having because I am a better
husband. I will pretty much be a master at it by then. I hope to see you soon
Bat-Fam!
