The Wonder of Boys #3: Holy Robins Batdad.....

A little further down the road Wonder Wife and I decided an addition to our batty family was in order. So, we made a baby. Robin was so happy he could hardly contain himself. He wanted to name the baby and do things for Wonder Wife and help in any way possible. That is the Boy Wonder I (we) raised.

One day Robin came to me with a serious look on his face. By this time we knew we were having a boy. He looked at me and said, “Dad? When the baby gets here can I be Nightwing? But the red one not the blue one. Because red is my favorite color.” I was on the verge of laughter and tears of joy.

“Of Course you can.” I said 

“… and the baby will be the new Robin like Tim Drake or Jason Todd”

“Absolutely!” I couldn’t have been prouder.

Pregnancy went well. Wonder Wife is a Hot Mama. Nightwing took his role very seriously. Big Brother was the most important role he would play up to this point. He asked questions and took on more responsibilities around the house (which was growing smaller by the second). That Halloween we both went as Ninjas and Joked that Robin was the best ninja of all because he was hiding in mommy’s belly.

When the baby Robin arrived Nightwing wanted to hold him immediately. So we set up some pillows and he held his brother for the first time. I was holding back tears of joy. I hoped that love between them will never end. When we took Robin home we had Nightwing sit in the back and keep an eye on him. When he got in the car he said the most awesome nerd thing ever: “ Dad? Is this Big Brother level 3?”

“Level 3?”

“Yeah, I held the baby. I got to carry him [2 feet]. Now watching him in the car is level 3 right?”

“Sure.”

Again….so much pride. He will have so much to teach Robin.

The Wonder of Boys # 2: Robin Earns His Wings

 

A Batty Family

Dick Grayson's love for Wonder Girlfriend played a big part in my asking her to marry me.The way he acted around her and the way they loved one another was a sign for me that everything would be OK. I wish he could have been there for the proposal. But, he was with us every step of the way to the wedding.

Wonder Fiance's sister had been engaged for a while and so we were scheduling around her wedding as well. It gave us some time to get everyone used to being a mixed/blended/whatever family. Our Robin had 2 more birthdays and we watched him grow into  a somewhat introverted little boy. He wasn't as social as I would have liked. But he loved those he was social with very much.

As part of his "training" I had him speak to the people at the cash register when we would go places or say hi to people as long as I was around. He begrudgingly did this. We also got him into Cub Scouts around this time. My hope was this would make him more social with kids his age.

Unfortunately the parent politics of cub scouting interfered with the kids having as much fun as they should. I don't think the kids noticed. But, there was a lot of exclusion and  "team switching" to and from other dens happening. I got kinda sour on the whole experience. Robin got his Bobcat, Tiger and Bear patches. But we didn't continue into Webelos because of the bad experiences and almost impossible work schedules I had at the time.

During the wedding planning Wonder Fiance and I both did our best to make sure that our Robin had some input. He was a part of the Ceremony. Wonder Wife read vows to him . He poured his own color sand in the sand ceremony where we combined our lives. Having him in pictures that would normally be my new bride and myself alone made my heart melt. Seeing how happy she was to have him there made me cry. We made time for ourselves of course. But, we truly made a new family that day. I know that Robin felt like he had a whole new family too. He gained a stepmother, aunts, an uncle, a new set of grandparents, and most important of all new cousins.

It was the happiest I had been since he was born. I felt like I finally had some stability for him and us.

The Wonder of Boys #1: How Batdad got his first sidekick

 

 

 How do I raise a child?

When I was almost 25 years old a little boy saved my life. I didn't  realize it at the time. I didn't  realize it for quite a while. Nevertheless, it happened.  My Dick Grayson wasn't adopted. He was born in October  of 2005 to my (now ex) wife .

I had been lucky enough to have some  practice with my ex-wife's older son. But, this baby thing was different. Between the age of 18-25 I had gained about 130 lbs. I lost about 80 after my son was born. I also realize now that young Dick was a very easy baby. We would cuddle and nap with each other for hours.

He is and was a very kind-hearted child. He shares my love of super heroes and fantasy.I am unsure how much of this is my doing or how much he really is into it. Sharing these interests is one of the few things i know how to bond with him over.

I am a little socially awkward sometimes  and learning to relate to a child is sometimes  the most difficult  thing in the world, despite my origins (and some would say my current mental state) as a child. I worry about him. I don't want him to live through  any of the bad stuff I did. I do know full well that he will have his own bad stuff to deal with. That is okay. I will help him through it.

How Dick Grayson became Robin

He was around  3 when I left his mom. I hate saying it that way because it feels very deadbeat dad. It happens to be the truth  though.  I moved out of the house and left her the car, and nearly everything  to get out of a situation  I still feel neither of us were happy in. That was something  I  didn't want for my son.

The first couple of years were rough. I wasn't financially  stable  or mentally and emotionally  stable some of the time. I didn't get to see him as often as I wished I could.  I made bad relationship  choices  and bad life choices  in and out of those relationships. The custody battle got ugly. At the time I was just trying to see my son. I was  a little  selfish about it and I lost any love and admiration from the aforementioned step-son that I ever had in the first place.

 The custody agreement we ended up with was not one I am happy with. The judge said I could have him weekends and his mother would have full custody. She thought that she deserved to be able to see him on weekends too. So, I get him three weekends for every one she gets. Normally this would be great. I would get to spend entire weekends raising this young man. Unfortunately my career choice involves a lot of working weekends. In the beginning this resulted in me spending almost no time with him because I couldn't afford to not go to work. I also still had no place to live where he had a room or I felt comfortable having him stay. This resulted in many nights at grandmas house where we both slept on the couch. This went on for a few years.

During this time I met Wonder Wife when she was still Wonder Single Woman. We dated. I made bad life choices. We stopped dating. I made more bad life choices that almost hurt my chances of ever seeing my son again. I became friends with Wonder Single Woman. She rescued me from my bad life choices and we started dating again. For the first time in a long time, I felt like having my son around was safe and right.

I moved into Wonder Girlfriend's one bedroom apartment and began having my son stay the night occasionally. Soon after we got a 2 bedroom apartment a block away. He had his own room. This was so big for us. Wonder Girlfriend and Dick Grayson got along great. He would take her side over mine sometimes, which made me more happy than I let on. But, we were still on the same page when it came to super heroes and wrestling, and tomfoolery. It was around this time we decided that he was the Robin to my Batdad. He deserved to wear that mantle. He had been through a lot by this point and he was only 5 years old.